Tuesday, I did something I never in my life have done or even had a desire to do. I sent an apology to an ex-boss for walking out on them. I really had no need to send it, but I did and it bothered me as I wrote it, bothered me as I let it stew in draft mode for the night, and really bothered me after I hit the send button. Does that make any kind of sense to anyone? LOL. I'm still in the process of trying to figure out why I even bothered sending it. It's all so damn confusing to me!
Maybe I did it, subconsciously hoping they will be stupid enough to rehire me for the 2010 Season. God did I love that job! I'm a Chef by trade and thanks to all my years of walking away from jobs, I don't have a stable work history and this was a wonderful couple who didn't care as long as I brought them in money.
As I wander the earth in search of my peace and happiness, this is where I'll post my rants where it concerns my mental health as I discover things about my Bipolar Disorder, my Borderline Personality Disorder, and other medical issues. Here is where you will read and explore the things I am going through.
Disclaimer
Need Immediate Help?
If you are having thoughts of death or suicide, call 1–800–273–8255 (TALK), or if you need immediate assistance, call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room
"Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself" ~~Thomas Jefferson.
Showing posts with label Maine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maine. Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
When your heart is without a "HOME"; Maine
It has been 6 months since I left my home in Maine.
I am in hell here in NC!
Maine seems so far away, but so near my grasp. I miss the hell out of my adopted state! Granted, I was only there for 5 months, but it felt like a life time to me. A place where I want to hang my hat when I grow up. That's home to me!
I have spent most of 2009 circling from Georgia to Maine and every where in between more then once. A lost nomad looking for her way to find her happiness. I have had no clue where I've been or where I've been headed, but I've finally found some of my happiness. If you had told me years ago that I needed to be out in the open mountain air, I would have laughed at you and told you that you were crazy, but today, I now know that it is exactly where I need to be. Many people over the years have asked me, "if you could live anywhere, where would it be". I have always answered "my grandma's cabin. Nice secluded camp nestled back in the brush amongst the hills in Northern Ontario. But now it would come in a tie between there and my new found love of Maine.
I miss the sound of a cold fog horn blowing in the early morning hours crying out like a momma to her child, waking up to see the mist covering all the sights before me, the seagulls that sat on a roof top across the street from my house all lined up like little soldiers waiting to be fed, I miss seeing all the boats bobbing on the gentle ocean waves in the harbor, or the anticipation that I might catch a glimpse of a bear or moose. Yes I miss my Maine.
I fell in love with Maine the minute I crossed the bridge into Kittery. From that moment on I was hooked!
I am in hell here in NC!
Maine seems so far away, but so near my grasp. I miss the hell out of my adopted state! Granted, I was only there for 5 months, but it felt like a life time to me. A place where I want to hang my hat when I grow up. That's home to me!
I have spent most of 2009 circling from Georgia to Maine and every where in between more then once. A lost nomad looking for her way to find her happiness. I have had no clue where I've been or where I've been headed, but I've finally found some of my happiness. If you had told me years ago that I needed to be out in the open mountain air, I would have laughed at you and told you that you were crazy, but today, I now know that it is exactly where I need to be. Many people over the years have asked me, "if you could live anywhere, where would it be". I have always answered "my grandma's cabin. Nice secluded camp nestled back in the brush amongst the hills in Northern Ontario. But now it would come in a tie between there and my new found love of Maine.
I miss the sound of a cold fog horn blowing in the early morning hours crying out like a momma to her child, waking up to see the mist covering all the sights before me, the seagulls that sat on a roof top across the street from my house all lined up like little soldiers waiting to be fed, I miss seeing all the boats bobbing on the gentle ocean waves in the harbor, or the anticipation that I might catch a glimpse of a bear or moose. Yes I miss my Maine.
I fell in love with Maine the minute I crossed the bridge into Kittery. From that moment on I was hooked!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
