As I go to counseling and talk to my family and friends, the truth of things that have happened to me or that I have done will come out. Some will be graphic, others sad, some might just be angering for others. For all this I am sorry, but it needs to come out so that people can understand where my depression and anger come from. There for I do want to apologize a head of time and please don't be afraid to comment or leave your thoughts on my Blog. Thank You.

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"Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself" ~~Thomas Jefferson.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Giving Up!

I'm tired of fighting! This all came about with in the last few hours. What started out as a great day quickly turned to shit after I woke up from my nap. I realized that I more then likely wont reach my goal of becoming a Peer Support Specialist due to not being able to afford the classes. I realized that come next week my laptop will probably be lost to the pawn shop to make my truck payment. I realized my grammy more or less has become forgetful or fails to remember things.

Had my last DBT group today. Felt good about leaving them, but now I want them back. Sharonda even had me tell the group the way I felt my outcome has been since joining the group, another person agreed and that felt great that it seems to help other as well. However, I feel lost right now.

Today is also my last day of school until the 12th of April. I did awesome for the first time in my life, but again, I feel empty.

Have I been fooling myself into thinking things were getting better for me? Mental Illnesses fucking blow!!!

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