As I go to counseling and talk to my family and friends, the truth of things that have happened to me or that I have done will come out. Some will be graphic, others sad, some might just be angering for others. For all this I am sorry, but it needs to come out so that people can understand where my depression and anger come from. There for I do want to apologize a head of time and please don't be afraid to comment or leave your thoughts on my Blog. Thank You.

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"Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself" ~~Thomas Jefferson.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Proud of Myself!

Tonight my Tiger's starter went bad (for those of you who don't know Tiger, she is my truck). I didn't cuss, scream, or even kick her. I calmy tried to find the started in the dark to pound on it and try to get her started. Couldn't find it in the dark, so that was the end of me trying to get anywhere. Needless to say, I am broke so I don't know when she will be up and running again, but that didn't throw me into a whirle wind either. I calm, I am in control, I am still plesantly happy. I even kissed my Tiger's hood for the night before giving up on her. LOL My mom told me I was a sick bitch for doing it too. LOL

I felt like a surgeon working on a patient for the first time; my hands shook, sweat running down my face as I searched for the entry point to my baby. Couldn't find it in the dark though. LOL. Guess it's time to buy more flash lights or better batteries, oh and more tools. After all she does have 135,000 miles on her, I think it's time she will start needing a tweaking here and there.

But I can honestly say for once, I am proud of myself for keeping my cool, not throwing a temper tantrum, there was no screaming or cussing involved either. Maybe the DBT classes are working after all.  Another first for me: is that I told myself I am proud of me! It will happen again someday! I know it will.

Think Before you act, instead of, acting before you think.


perphila said...

Good job! I wouldn't have cussed either but I might have cried...lol.

My car is dead too so I feel for you.

A Wanderer's Mind said...

Thank You! Cussing is something I normally would do, as well as kicking it, throwing things at it, well you can use your imagination. LOL