Disclaimer

As I go to counseling and talk to my family and friends, the truth of things that have happened to me or that I have done will come out. Some will be graphic, others sad, some might just be angering for others. For all this I am sorry, but it needs to come out so that people can understand where my depression and anger come from. There for I do want to apologize a head of time and please don't be afraid to comment or leave your thoughts on my Blog. Thank You.

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"Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself" ~~Thomas Jefferson.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Inspiration

Inspiration comes from with in. You might see something, hear something, and even smell something that sends you off into an inspiring moment. That is what has come over me in the last 6 months; I have Been Inspired!

Inspired to help people find their own recovery process. Inspired to help people get through their daily lives if that is what is needed. Inspired to help the less fortunate. Inspired to share my story. Ok, you get the picture. LOL

I have started writing my own Peer Support Specialist program. This process will take a couple of months I am sure, as the minimum it can be is a 40 hour week course. But I want to take it one step further then most do and I want more participation exercises and such. But the thing is, is that I know this will be a huge challenge for me. But you know what, I don't have to let it be a challenge. By believing in myself I can take this to the finished level instead of giving up on it.

My mom made the comment tonight, "My god Lori, where will you find the time to do that? It will take you years to write that."

My first thought was, where the hell is your encouragement. But after I thought about it, she does have the right to doubt me, after all I rarely ever finish anything, except, until recently. I am sure she figures that at some point my mental illness will flare up again and I will stop doing as good as I'm doing now. So I can see where her doubt comes from, but I also know I don't have to let it affect me. I KNOW if I want to finish something, I CAN. I KNOW if I want to take on new projects and complete them, that I CAN.

So I would like everyone to do something for me and that is every time you start to DOUBT yourself or someone else DOUBTS you, tell yourself I CAN. No more doubts from here on out, only positive I CANS!

It is through this positive change in our thinking that we can find the strength and courage to move forward in our recovery. I know it's a hard thing to believe, but it can be done. Don't worry if you have that bad day every so often, it's expected. Instead worry about those damn good days you know your going to have! As hard as it feels, stay inspired and you will find a new lease on life.

Well my friends, it is after midnight and sleeping beauty needs to go crawl in bed with the dwarfs. LOL. (yes I know I mixed the 2 movies), but we can't head off with out my grateful list now can we.

1) I am grateful that everyone made it home from training safely.
2) I am grateful to have 12 new and dear friends in my life now. Two of them I can see becoming GREAT friends, you know who you are ladies.
3) I am grateful for the fact that my dog wouldn't let me in the house when I pulled in because he missed me so much. LOL. Made me feel very loved.
4) I am grateful for the rebirth that I am feeling in my life.
5) I am grateful for the inspiration that I had come over me as I drove home. Everything was so bright to me, even those my mind was racing 200 MPH.

Good Night All.

2 comments:

Bec said...

Wishing you the best of luck :)
I too know what it's like to rarely finish things, even if it was something I was really enthusastic about. It sounds like you are very determined though.

A Wanderer's Mind said...

Bec,

We can all be determined if we so choose to be. For instance, I hate that I suck down 19 pills 2 times a day and 6 pills the 3rd time a day, so I fight to exercise, kill the stress in my life, and be happy just so I can get off some of those damn pills I hate so much.

With strength and bonding together we can find a way to over come anything we choose. We just have to find our determination and keep putting out foot forward.

Hope all is well with you!
Lori