As I go to counseling and talk to my family and friends, the truth of things that have happened to me or that I have done will come out. Some will be graphic, others sad, some might just be angering for others. For all this I am sorry, but it needs to come out so that people can understand where my depression and anger come from. There for I do want to apologize a head of time and please don't be afraid to comment or leave your thoughts on my Blog. Thank You.

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If you are having thoughts of death or suicide, call 1–800–273–8255 (TALK), or if you need immediate assistance, call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room
"Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself" ~~Thomas Jefferson.

Monday, August 30, 2010

How I saved my own life....

For many years I drowned in my own misery. I worked endless jobs only to quit them a few months down the road, I moved from house to house and state to state. I found happiness in things I did but only for a short time. My life was in hell. I cut, I stole, I lied, I cheated, I made up stories that I even started believing. The fact was, is that I was in complete and utter hell with myself. I didn't know whether I was coming or going. I finally came to the understanding that I was letting no one down but myself. I was a mess that needed to find a new path back to the real world. That was the day I woke up and saw what I needed to do.

I hunted down support groups and chat rooms online that catered to those of us with Bipolar Disorder. I was reaching out for help when instead I found others needed my help. That is what saved me. Helping others. I found that by opening my mind to the needs of others I was able to save myself from myself. I had finally found my calling. I knew I needed to be there for others and so my skills as a listener started perking up.

I quickly found that by helping others, I was helping myself at the same time. That is what led me to become a Peer Support Specialist, the need to help others as well as myself. So before you give up to that next bout of depression, take a swig from the bottle, or run a razor blade across your wrist, or want to pick up that next crack pipe, think about how you can help someone else through their own problem and you just might find it works for you as well.

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