As I go to counseling and talk to my family and friends, the truth of things that have happened to me or that I have done will come out. Some will be graphic, others sad, some might just be angering for others. For all this I am sorry, but it needs to come out so that people can understand where my depression and anger come from. There for I do want to apologize a head of time and please don't be afraid to comment or leave your thoughts on my Blog. Thank You.

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"Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself" ~~Thomas Jefferson.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Bipolar Medicine

The whole reason I stopped taking my medicine years ago was the effect it has on me. The dopey, can't do shit type of reactions. Well yesterday my Psych Doctor put me on Saphris and boy does it knock you the fuck out! I haven't been able to function and it's driving me nuts. Take a pill, sleep, take a pill, sleep. I even wake up feeling drugged up. Sure its only been 2 days, but I do not like this feeling one bit. One thing I will say about it is that my head seems a tiny bit less foggy and the day seems brighter. I just have to get over the drugged feeling and the need to sleep. Maybe then everything, including the medicine will work out alright for me.

Two days ago my grandma feel and broke her pelvic bone, she is now in the hospital. At 84 I can understand her being a bitch, but she is taking it too far this time. My mom finally broke down and said "Mom, your acting like Madge,". My was grandma's mom and she is the one we all refer to because she became a beast a few years before she passed away. That shut grandma right the fuck up. So due to her being a she-devil the hospital has decided they want nothing more to do with her and they are shipping her off to rehab. LOL. I find that amusing as bad as she wanted to be admitted. The women in my family live a mighty long time, is this what I have to look forward to when mom gets that age? LOL. If so I'm moving to another country.

Now, on to my Grateful list.

1) I am grateful for being alive this morning.

2) I am grateful for the stone I carry in my pocket to say different "graditudes" during the day.

3) I'm grateful to have a very dear friend who helps me get through all my Psych appointments each day.

4) I'm grateful for the cool weather.

5) I'm grateful for getting to watch the squirrels tease the cat that will never catch them. LOL

I'll write more later. I have a lot to say, I'm just afraid at times to speak my mind even though I know no one will read these or dispute what I say. LOL

1 comment:

Jimmy Casey said...

After 20 years of either not taking meds or trying meds that fucked me up I finally found a doctor who knew what she was doing. She prescribed a combination of Lamictal and good ol' Lithium, with a 10 mg topper of Ambien for my insomnia. I've been taking this mixture for almost 5 years and haven't had any serious issues and NO side effects...well, I won't say "none". I think my eyesight is suffering a little bit as a result of the Lamictal, but then again, it may well be that I'm just getting old.