As I go to counseling and talk to my family and friends, the truth of things that have happened to me or that I have done will come out. Some will be graphic, others sad, some might just be angering for others. For all this I am sorry, but it needs to come out so that people can understand where my depression and anger come from. There for I do want to apologize a head of time and please don't be afraid to comment or leave your thoughts on my Blog. Thank You.

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"Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself" ~~Thomas Jefferson.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Group

Found out today that about 1/2 of my group will be gone come February. Seems the good ole health care plan is trying to kick into high gear. Come February, certain insurance companies and medicare/Medicaid will no longer be paying for Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It's a crying shame when someone tries to get the help they need in order to stay alive and function on a day to day basis only to get shot down by the government or an agency such as the insurance companies. It sucks is what it does.

This is the reason I have decided to go to school to become a Therapist! To help those who can't afford it o r can't make it into a Therapists office. I tell you what, issues like this are becoming a massive passion in my life as I struggle to find the greatness in myself. Sure I won't cure the world, but I'll be able to help someone find their own path in the right direction! If one person is all I help, then I'll be happy with that.

Today we discussed interpersonal relationships and had to rate our skills with them. I gave myself a 3, which is bad. Why did I give myself a 3? Well outside of group, phone, and internet, I have no contact with people. I prefer to stay in hiding and only going out when I absolutely need to. I will go to Doctor's appointments, grocery stores, restaurants, and all the other fun public places, but my nerves feel every single bit of it or the headaches will kick into high gear and I have panic attacks. I think this is why I hate to shop. LOL.

Then she gave us our homework, (lets see if she remembers to even ask about it. LOL). I have to go out and talk to one person out of my comfort level, uhm hello, I hate to go out unless I have to much less talk to a stranger. LOL. Boy is she in for a treat with mine. BTW, I'm not allowed to use anyone online or those that I know. LOL.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)

I have been doing semi ok. I try daily to find happiness in things that I do, but I can not find happiness in the prick my mom calls a husband. Some day he will get his, no not by me either. LOL

Till another day....

1 comment:

perphila said...

I prefer staying home as well. Meeting new people is one thing I don't really avoid (much) but is and the very bottom of my fun list. I am VERY slow to open up to people and I stay silent a long time. Once I become comfortable then I talk a lot. One person told me that they couldn't wait until I spoke up because even though I didn't say much when I did it meant something. So , maybe that is my air of mystery...lol.
Also, I hate going out to new places if I am alone. I am fine when someone I know is with me but I have had a panic attack driving to my mothers when I thought I was lost. My husband had done all the driving and when he left I had to learn everything on my own and I thought I was going to just die from the stress. I had to drive the routes over and over until I felt comfortable again. If I fall out of the "going out" routine then I have to start the process all over again and I like panic attacks a lot less than my preference to not liking to go out. Sucks either way I guess...:)
My son needs CBTherapy and we only have state insurance. I really hope they don't cancel it!