As I go to counseling and talk to my family and friends, the truth of things that have happened to me or that I have done will come out. Some will be graphic, others sad, some might just be angering for others. For all this I am sorry, but it needs to come out so that people can understand where my depression and anger come from. There for I do want to apologize a head of time and please don't be afraid to comment or leave your thoughts on my Blog. Thank You.

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"Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself" ~~Thomas Jefferson.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Dear Mental Illness

A letter to my mental illness....

Have I ever told you how much I hate you? Yet I love you for just as many reasons.

Reasons I hate you:

1) You've taken some of my family from me
2) You've helped me ruin relationships in more than one way.
3) you've helped ruin my life in many ways: example, self-harm, theft, jail, and even by messing up in school.
4) You've helped me ruin the lives of many.
5) You've even helped me hold on to relationships that I shouldn't
6) You've help me forget who I am.

The reasons I love you:

1) You've helped me bring back some of my family
2) You've helped me make over 2000 friends in the last 2 years
3) you've taken my life in a whole new direction (Thank You!)
4) You've helped me see that I am not Hopeless and that I am a good person.
5) Thanks to you I have made some great friends in life and experience some amazing relationships
6) You've helped me see where I belong
7) You've helped me see who I am and who I want to be.
8) Because of you I can make someone's life a better place, as well as mine
9) Because of you I can see clearly where I was and where I need to be.

Needless to say, I am doing great where I am now, even with all of your short comings. That being said, there are still 2 people who I want in my world but they aren't, my son and my father. I need their support, yet don't have it, yet I am grateful for this in my life who are my support systems. If your reading this, you know who you are.

To date, I have started school and am almost on to my Junior year while maintaining a 4.0 (who would have ever thought? LOL), I have certificates to teach 5 different classes, and am currently working on 4 more, and will reach my goal of starting a recovery college at the rate I am going and I owe most of it to you my mental illness. Thank you for helping to push me to accomplish these tasks.

Today I am grateful for:
1) My recovery
2) my friends and the many more I will make.
3) My new life.
4) The ability to overcome my fears.
5) My friends going through recovery and them making it...

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